This is an actual ad that I found on Craig’s List tonight.  Hysterical . . . .

Holly, I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you, but you can be such a raving bitch sometimes! If I knew she worked with you I wouldnt’ have banged her. I used protection. She means nothing to me. I jus twant to come back home. At least let me get my stuff. There was no reason to LIE to the cops. You know I wasn’t peeping… I was trying to break in to MY apartment. just because i am not on the lease doesn’t mean its not my home. I promise, no more you know what if you let me come back! I’ll still talk nasty. Feed my fish, please.

Harry S.

• this is in or around PDX
• no — it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests