Yes, I know this sounds completely ridiculous.  And, well, it is.  But, in case you have not heard, apparently, K-Fed is planning to release a new video of him and Britney in flagrante delicto.  And, in case you are not a lawyer, that just means “doing it”.

And, for the life of me, I cannot figure out why the “new” thing is to release a sex video.  But, that is not the subject of this post.  As such, I will move on.

When I was a young naval officer out of college, Britney hit the scene with her Catholic schoolgirl uniform and her seductive tunes.  And, like every other man in America, I became a fan… immediately.

But, as time went on, Britney went the way of Madonna.  And, with each subsequent year, she appeared to make an effort to out slut herself over the year before.  And, for most males, that was all well and good.  But, when K-Fed came into the picture, well, she just lost its appeal.  You know, I think that most males could have accepted Britney ending up with a sports star or a pop star… Tom Brady, e.g…. there lies a suitable suitor for Britney.  Or, how about the new James Bond guy or Jay-Z and/or P-Ditty.  I think that most males could’ve accepted that.  (Unfortunately, I think that Screech from Saved by the Bell would have been an improvement over K-Fed.)  And, she could have kept her seductive, yet slutty, persona.  And, her career would have rolled on.

But, I think that most of Britney’s male fans (and, likely, her female fans too) were thrown for a loop when K-Fed came into the picture.  Now, you didn’t have to be the head short order cook at the Waffle House to know that that marriage would not work out.  That is an interesting thing about relationships.  I am sure that everyone would have agreed at the time that the guy was a loser.  I mean… let’s get real… what kind of loser would take off to Vegas with his “boyzzz” as soon as his baby was born?  (Sorry to drone on… look, I watched Entertainment Tonight recently… unfortunately, I’ve been sucked into pop culture… need to escape).

But, I have always found it to be profoundly interesting that you cannot tell your friends anything when it comes to relationships.  I am sure that Britney has a friend somewhere who might have mentioned to her that “this guy is a complete loser… why in the hell are you doing this?”.  But, it is my experience that nobody ever listens to this type of advice – even if given by a well-meaning friend.  Instead, people just have to get burned by experience.

That was merely an aside.  So, anyway, now, apparently you have this guy (K-Fed) who is threatening to release a sex video.  And, he is claiming that he wants custody of the children.  (This part is completely ridiculous.  He has absolutely no desire to be associated with these children.  This is merely a ploy to drain more money out of her.)  So, given this drama and the excess amount of information gained from what I have heard (though never seen) about the K-Fed-Britney reality show, I can officially now (I think) speak for each and every male in the United States of America.  Britney, we males are through with you (And, since, I am a married male, this goes double … and even quadruple for me.).  Officially… done…  It’s over.

But, much like many politicians frequently do, I’m sure she will reinvent herself… maybe work out… maybe get image coach … maybe the same image coach that  Madonna used in her “Papa Don’t Preach” days… and the one that got her out of the hot water after she torched a cross in a video …. Oh, and that whole “Justify My Love” video that every young male in America tried to get their hands on.

Maybe, Britney can follow the example of great political leaders like Ted Kennedy, Patrick Kennedy, Foley, and the good Revvvverend Haggard, and check herself into rehab.  Maybe, that is the solution …. “I was drunk the entire time I knew the guy”.  The rehab ploy (much like videoing your sex life) also appears to be on the rise.

Anyway, there is my solution and my ramblings about the Britney matter.  There it is.  I can now tuck it to bed.